Category: “The Babylon Bee”
- Thyroid Sick Of Getting Blamed For All Of Woman’s Character Flaws
- Sorry Excuse For American Hasn’t Blown Off Single Finger With Fireworks
- 10 Exciting Changes Disney Is Bringing To The Indiana Jones Reboot
- LOOOOL Check Out This So-Called ‘MAN’ Who’s Doing CARDIO (A Type Of Exercise For GIRLS)
- Continental Congress Reluctantly Agrees To Trim Down Name Of ‘Big Beautiful Declaration Of Independence’
- Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot
- Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item ‘Box Of Things We Found At The Beach’
- Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons
- Subway Names Diddy As New Spokesman
- Sad: Great White Shark Stripped Of UPenn Women’s Swimming Title
- Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off
- Mamdani Says He Will Build Wall Separating East New York From West New York
- Jesus Delights Crowd By Miraculously Turning Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Into Chocolate Chip
- Thomas Massie Unveils Small, Ugly Budget Bill With A Great Personality
- Ford Debuts World’s First Autonomous Car To Leave Factory And Drive Straight To Shop For Repairs
- Man In Search Of New Church After Finding Out His Pastor Likes The Disney Star Wars Movies
- KBJ Issues Savage Dissent In Form Of TikTok Dance
- Pride Parade Followed Closely By Disinfectant Parade
- Pastor Resigns In Disgrace After Failing To Use Greek Word In Sermon
- Archaeologists Discover King Saul’s Ouija Board
- Planned Parenthood Warns Funding Cut Will Result In Birth Of Thousands Of Babies
- Wail Of Agony Heard From Satan’s Office As Planned Parenthood Defunded
- Millions Reported Dead As ‘Big Beautiful Bill’ Passes
- Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States
- Journalist Up Late Trying To Decide Whether To Compare Trump’s Bill To Jim Crow Or Holocaust
- Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die
- How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July
- Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes
- UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women’s Swim Coach
- UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against
- Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12
- Man Spends Six Years Digging Tunnel From Church Parking Lot To Sanctuary So He Can Avoid Greeters
- Elon Sends Optimus Robot Back In Time To Terminate ‘Big Beautiful Bill’
- CNN Reports Viewership ‘Largely Intact’
- Mamdani Clarifies He Is Not A Communist, He Merely Wants To Seize The Means Of Production And Put All The Capitalists In Gulags
- District Court Issues Nationwide Injunction Against Supreme Court Ruling
- Gavin Newsom Sues Gavin Newsom For Ruining His Political Career
- Jeff Bezos’s Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife’s Amazon Purchases
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