Category: “The Babylon Bee”
- Cain Raises $1,000,000 In Crowdfunding Donations After Killing Abel
- Liberals Warn Enforcing Immigration Law Is A Slippery Slope That May Lead To Enforcing Other Laws
- Catholic Scholars Confirm Purgatory Consists Of Helping Third Graders With Math For Hundreds Of Years
- Democrats Call For An Individual Court Hearing For Everyone On Earth To Prove They Aren’t American Citizens
- American Hostages In Gaza Disguise Themselves As MS-13 Gang Members So Democrats Will Fight To Bring Them Home
- Maine Sues To Allow Sasquatch To Continue Competing In Women’s Sports
- Sorry Excuse For A Church Only Has One Service LOOOOOOOOL
- Harvard Awards Honorary Degree To Man Who Firebombed Governor Shapiro’s House
- 9 Loopholes To Help You Avoid Paying Taxes
- Harvard Warns Loss Of Federal Funding Will Cripple Their Ability To Find A Final Solution To The Jewish Problem
- Trump Summons Elon Musk To Oval Office To Help Him Open A PDF
- Trump Reveals He Took ‘Which Harry Potter House Are You In?’ Quiz And He’s A Gryffindor
- Top 10 Hottest Hunks According To Taylor Lorenz
- Terrified Luigi Mangione Files Restraining Order Against Taylor Lorenz
- Donkey Entering Jerusalem Glad To Be Finally Getting Recognition He Deserves
- Life Hack: Get Real Starbucks Taste At Home By Dumping Hot Water Over Cigarette Ashes
- Apple Warns China Tariffs Could Negatively Impact Child Slave Employment Opportunities
- ‘Minecraft’ Revealed To Be Psyop To Prepare Kids For Return Of American Coal Mines
- Texas Bans Sale Of Assault Rifles With Capacity Of Less Than 30 Rounds
- Republicans Vow To Get Really Serious About Cutting Spending In Like 20 Or 30 Years
- UK Stabbing Suspect Pleads Muslim
- Local Dad Has To Be Forcibly Removed From WW2 Air Museum
- NBA Provides LeBron With Special Whistle To Call His Own Fouls
- ‘Weeeeee I’m An Astronaut!’ Exclaims Katy Perry During Ride On Disneyland Astro Orbiter
- Trump Agrees To Bring Garcia Home If El Salvador Will Keep Cory Booker
- 10 People We’d Like To Launch Into Space
- Biden Gives Powerful Speech Reminding Nation Why He’s No Longer President
- ‘A Woman Is An Adult Human Female’ Rules U.K. Judge That Looks Suspiciously Like Matt Walsh In A Powdered Wig
- California Mandates Homeowners Install Wheelchair Ramps On Porches For Disabled Burglars
- 10 Reasons Women Make Better Astronauts Than Men
- Health Tip: To Beat Those Spring Allergies, Try Diving Headfirst Into A Volcano
- Man Sadly Informs Son After Watching ‘Return Of The Jedi’ That They Never Made Any More Star Wars Movies
- Man Realizes Last 8 Months Of Career Could Have Been An Email
- Gretchen Whitmer Sneaks Into White House Again
- Concentration Camp Prisoners Concerned China Being Bullied By America
- 7 Surprising Findings From Trump’s Physical
- 9 Things More Exciting Than Watching Golf
- Get A Load Of This White-Knighting SIMP Saving A Princess From A Dragon
- ‘Man, People Are Going To LOVE Reading This One,’ Says Moses While Writing Leviticus
- China Trade War Update: Trump Classifies Panda Express As Domestic Terror Organization
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