Here's a doozy for you. A pack of left-wing Hollywood types are triggered beyond belief at the thought of people having the right of self-preservation. So they're forming an organization to take down the “evil, bad no-good” NRA, once and for all. I give you the “NoRA.”
Try to read this a little at a time, in order to minimize your risk of dying from laughter:
A group of Hollywood stars — including Alec Baldwin, Julianne Moore, Debra Messing, Jimmy Kimmel, Michael Moore and Amy Schumer — is banding together to take on the National Rifle Association (NRA).
The performers and other public figures, including Parkland, Fla., shooting survivor David Hogg, released an open letter on Friday to announce the launch of the NoRA initiative, short for No Rifle Association.
The campaign, according to organizers, is a “non-partisan coalition of activists, artists, celebrities, writers, gun violence survivors, and policy experts.”
Yeah, every single celeb on that list is a well-known leftist buttmunch. Alec Baldwin, whose primary job right now is trashing Trump on SNL. Cryin' Jimmy Kimmel, who can't go one episode without whining about those mean Republicans. Michael Moore, the Zeppelin-shaped asshat in a ball cap who strives to bring socialism to America. In between cleaning out buffets. Doesn't sound very partisan to me.
“We're going to shine a bright light on what you and your organization do to America. We're going to make sure the whole world sees your bloody hands,” the letter says.
“We're coming for your money. We're coming for your puppets,” it says. “And we're going to win.”
According to NoRA's website, the group intends to head to the NRA's annual meeting next month.
“We're going to show up at the NRA convention in Dallas and make them wish they stayed home,” the website says. “We might just sue the pants off the NRA.”
I can picture the lawsuit now. “We like think they should like go to jail and stuff. Because they like really really like the Constitution, that's just like…wrong man. Kids are totally dying because of the NRA and their pro-Constitution BS. I was in Glengarry Glen Ross, so I know what I'm talking about, guys.”
The upside to this stupidity is these celebs are only helping the NRA. #MarchForLife tried this schtick already. Didn't work out so well. These celebs would have much better luck putting a damper on gun sales if they'd keep their traps shut and stick to playing pretend.
You know, with the threatening letters talking about “coming for” pro-Second Amendment groups, it's a real mystery as to why someone might feel the need to pack heat. Nevertheless, thank you NoRA for renewing the NRA's purpose and encouraging steady membership for years to come. They couldn't have done it without you.
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