The Sharpie Is Mightier Than The Battery: Man Exchanges ‘Robo-Joe’ Signature For Trump’s

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In a scene that plays out like a deleted subplot from “Veep,” a man asked President Trump to sign his Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award, which had previously been signed by former President Biden.

The unidentified recipient, who presumably spent 4,000 hours of his life volunteering—only to have his reward signed by a mechanical ghost—approached President Trump with a request that has now redefined the term “cancel culture.” Holding the certificate, which bore the signature of former President Joe Biden, the man didn’t just ask for an autograph; he asked for an exorcism.

“I don’t want his name on there,” the man pleaded, looking at the document with the same level of affection one might give a subpoena. “Can you help me out?”

President Trump, never one to miss an opportunity to play both commander in chief and forensic handwriting expert, immediately took the stage. After confirming with the crowd that the man indeed wanted the 46th president’s John Hancock scrubbed from existence, Trump went to work.

“And mine’s not an autopen,” Trump declared. “His is. That’s an autopen signature. See that? You know, that’s an autopen.”

Trump then pivoted, “That’s an autopen signature. You think he signed that? He didn’t sign that. I don’t know how he did that. It’s insulting, when you think about it.” He finished signing, adding, “Now you have a real lifetime achievement award.”

After it came to light Biden had used an autopen, the former president flatly denied any impropriety. “I made the decisions,” he insisted, calling claims otherwise “ridiculous and false.” Congressional Republicans, led by figures like House Oversight Chairman James Comer, remained unconvinced and launched inquiries.

But at least one American volunteer has already rendered his verdict.

When given the choice between a presidential signature and what Trump has called “a machine,” he opted for ink.

Some awards come with a gold seal.

This one came with a Sharpie — and the comforting knowledge that at least one signature in Washington that day doesn’t require batteries.



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