The following article, The Earthquake That Wore a MAGA Hat, was first published on The Black Sphere.
The Earth Moved—And So Did Putin’s Bank Account
Disasters usually leave chaos in their wake. But when an 8.8 magnitude earthquake recently struck near Russia, it didn’t just crack the earth—it shattered the Left’s favorite conspiracy theory. You know the one: Trump, Putin’s puppet, dancing on Kremlin strings like a marionette with a bad tan. Except here’s the plot twist: If Trump’s a puppet, he’s the kind that’s strangling its master with the very strings meant to control him.
Because while CNN hyperventilates about Russian collusion, Trump’s policies have left Putin’s economy trembling harder than a MSNBC host reading a Rasmussen poll. The seismic event? Just a coincidence. The economic quake? Absolutely orchestrated—and not by the Kremlin.
The Left’s Puppet Show (And Why the Strings Are Cut)
Let’s address the elephant in the room—the one the Left keeps trying to dress in a Russian fur hat. The narrative that Trump is Putin’s stooge is about as credible as a Pelosi insider trading denial. But facts, unlike Democratic talking points, don’t care about feelings.
Russia’s economy runs on oil and gas like Keith Olbermann runs on misplaced rage. In 2021, 45% of Russia’s federal budget came from energy exports. 90% of EU gas imports were Russian. Putin’s entire regime was built on Europe’s addiction to cheap fuel—until Trump’s EU deal turned off the tap like a bartender cutting off a drunk.
And here’s where the hypocrisy quake registers on the Richter scale. The same Left that shrieks about Trump’s alleged subservience to Moscow was eerily silent when Obama whispered sweet nothings to Putin after his “flexibility” hot mic moment. Remember that? Of course not—selective amnesia is progressivism’s superpower.
But under Trump, the U.S. didn’t just talk about energy independence—we weaponized it.
By unleashing American oil and gas production, brokering deals to redirect EU energy dependence away from Russia, and greenlighting LNG exports, Trump didn’t just sanction Russia—he bankrupted their geopolitical leverage.
The Data Doesn’t Lie:
Pre-Trump, Russia supplied 40% of Europe’s natural gas
During President Trump’s first term, U.S. LNG exports to Europe surged 272%
Putin’s budge hit hard, thanks to collapsing energy revenues (Reuters).
But sure, Trump’s the puppet. And Hunter Biden’s laptop was just a Russian plant.
The Earthquake Conspiracy (Because Why Not?)
Now, back to that earthquake. No, Trump isn’t literally terraforming the planet to own the libs (though if anyone could, it’d be him). But the symbolism is delicious.
Now? Russia’s energy sector is shaking harder than a CNN producer when the ratings come in. Trump didn’t just sanction Russia—he economically suplexed them. But sure, he’s the puppet. Right. And for Democrats, Epstein’s island was just a timeshare.
The Left’s cognitive dissonance is seismic. They’ll blame Trump for literally moving the earth before admitting his policies kneecapped Putin’s regime. Meanwhile, Biden’s team is too busy restarting Nord Stream 2 (oops, sanctions waivers!) to notice the irony.
Historical Context: How We Got Here
This isn’t new. Russia’s economy has always been a one-trick pony—if the trick was “selling fossil fuels and praying no one disrupts the grift.” The 2014 Crimea annexation? Funded by oil money. The Syrian intervention? Oil money. Putin’s entire “strongman” aesthetic? Built on a house of hydrocarbon cards.
Then came Trump. His administration didn’t just talk about energy dominance—they made it policy. By deregulating U.S. production, greenlighting pipelines (RIP, Keystone XL under Biden), and strong-arming NATO allies into diversifying energy supplies, Trump turned America into the world’s gas station—and Russia into a deserted roadside stand.
Related Reading:
The Only Collusion Was Between Putin and the Left’s Delusions
So, did Trump cause an earthquake? No. But did his policies send shockwaves through Putin’s regime? Absolutely. The Left’s puppet narrative is buried under rubble—just like Russia’s energy monopoly.
The real seismic activity? The ground shifting under the feet of every pundit who swore Trump was Putin’s lapdog. Turns out, the only thing Trump was colluding with was reality—and reality has a conservative bias.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be waiting for the MSNBC special: “How MAGA Fault Lines Are Destroying Democracy (And Also Geology).”
Final Note: For more takes that hit harder than an 8.8 magnitude quake, follow me at TheBlackSphere.net.
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