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“Are you going to put me in jail?”

And now for something completely different…

As someone without his own kids, I’ve always considered it must be exhausting having to preemptively teach your kids what not to do before they do it. Don’t talk to strangers is a given. No sharing snacks is a new one, what with peanut allergies and all that. One day, my seven-year-old niece decided she wanted to make a comic book, so she Googled “comic-making app” on her school Chromebook and downloaded it. She needed to have “ask your parents’ permission” explained to her (though her comic was funny).

I don’t think five-year-old William’s parents ever thought they needed to explain to him not to leave the house while they are sleeping, sneak past their security gate, and walk down to Chick-fil-A because he was ready for breakfast. Thank God he walked to Chick-fil-A and not Waffle House. Though if/when a fight broke out, he may have thought it was Saturday morning wrestling.

When employees saw little William sitting at a booth waiting to be served, they called Jacksonville Police. Though not without first making sure he got a juice box and chicken tendies.

Everything worked out fine. His parents, after the initial confusion of why police were at the front door with their son, were happy to have him home. And there’s a teachable moment to make sure kids know their home address, parents’ names, and a phone number. Police had to drive William around as he tried to retrace his steps.

This story is a nice palate cleanser. With the usual suck that comes with covering politics and culture, where everything is terrible and “for the love of God, somebody do something,” the innocence of a kid not thinking there was anything wrong with going for a walk to get something to eat is heart-warming.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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