In January 2025, the U.S Congressional Budget Office (CBO) released its new predictions on the demographics of the United States. They report that “by 2033, annual deaths [will] exceed annual birth” in the U.S. The announcement shouldn’t be surprising. Birth rates in America have been steadily dropping below replacement level for quite some time. America has a birth rate of 1.7 children per woman — well below the two children per woman necessary to maintain current levels.

That’s concerning because birth rates and replacement levels are very important to a country’s future sustainability. The analysts at the CBO noted that “[t]he size of the U.S. population and its composition by age and sex have significant implications for the economy and the federal budget,” which is why they take such care to track and report on the population. Without enough workers, the economy will shrink, the federal government will have to cut its budgets, and the U.S will slowly concede its power to the countries that are growing.

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The U.S is not the only country to face falling birth rates. South Korea has struggled for years and has the lowest birth rate in the world. They provide a good case study in some ways on the reasons why people stop having children. In 2023, NPR reported on the decline of birth rates in South Korea, noting that marriage rates were down 35% and that “the average number of children born to a woman in her reproductive years is now 0.78.”

The article notes that some young people cite the high cost of living as one reason they chose not have children. This might make sense on the surface, but throughout human history, couples have always had children no matter what their income or wealth. Additionally, countries that are struggling with low birth rates like the United States and South Korea are first-world nations that have higher standards of living than what most people had in all of human history. So even if the cost of living and the challenges of having children are presented as the reasons for not having kids, these factors never troubled young parents in the past. Or if they did, these challenges weren’t insurmountable.

The South Korean government has also tried to help with the costs that children bring, offering long maternity leave (one and half years), programs to help young parents, and a $230 stipend per month for each child under the age of one. But despite their efforts, these changes have not radically raised the birth rate.

What has changed in rich first-world countries, though, is the culture’s attitude on children and family. In the U.S., more so than other nations, a culture of hyper-independence and individualism is praised and glorified. A measure of this is not wrong, but the culture encourages pursuing one’s own path at the expense of having children and sacrificing for others. On a practical level, this move away from family in pursuit of one’s individualism makes having children much harder and more isolating.

NPR notes that work and achieving a successful career are highly valued in South Korea, while having children is not. This shift in thinking can also be seen in the United States. On social media, several prominent voices praise career over having kids. While some people do not state this explicitly, others do, as is the case with this viral creator, who shared a list of reasons why she wasn’t going to have kids. It included everything from medical fears that could happen during pregnancy to not having the same lifestyle once you had kids. While it is certainly true that kids will change your life, social media loves to focus on the worst case scenarios, leaving out the deep love, joy, and fulfillment children bring.

Of course, the anti-children messages aren’t just on social media but in mainstream culture as well. Movies and TV shows have long built a narrative that to be the “boss babe” is so much cooler and more fulfilling than being the boring stay-at-home parent. They may also portray a stressed and frazzled mom trying to balance work and children without success. These messages have seeped into our culture, affecting the way everyday people manage their lives and decisions. If you’ve grown up thinking having kids was a burden, that to be a parent (especially a mom) was very uncool, then it’s not surprising that you would opt out of that lifestyle.

Additionally, young people aren’t gathering in person as much but are moving more and more to online spaces. A 2024 Pew Research study found that “[m]ost teens use social media and have a smartphone, and nearly half say they’re online almost constantly.” As more young people spend more time online and less time face-to-face, they are less likely to make friends — much less form relationships and later have children. There is also a rise of lack of purpose, and studies found a high rate of loneliness among young people.

But if people don’t want kids, is there a good reason to care? Shouldn’t people be allowed to make their own choices? Of course, not having a replacement level birth rate will affect nations in the long term as economies become sluggish, world orders shift, and current superpowers fall. How it all shakes out is uncertain, but it’s certainly trending in an unfavorable direction.

But surely that’s not our problem, is it? People can make their own choices and not everyone should or can be parents. But the social and mainstream media that paints parenthood as a burdensome experience, and self-sacrifice as the worst fate to befall a person, can shape how people view children. Additionally, if individuals didn’t grow up around little children, and if they have no friends with children or spend much of their time online, then they will believe all the horror and one-sided stories they see.

Of course, not everyone is called to marriage and/or children. In the past, however, this was an exception, not the rule. Those who did not marry would still be plugged into their families in some capacity (as an aunt, cousin, sibling, etc).

There is no guarantee that a culture shift on parenthood will increase the number of births. There also could be unknown causes for the low birth rates besides cultural views. But monetary incentives for people to have children certainly didn’t work for South Korea.

What is true is that having a life focused on serving and loving others and living in a community in which children are valued and loved is much more rewarding, no matter what social media tells you.

LifeNews Note: Katelyn Rafferty writes for Washington Stand, where this column originally appeared.

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