Kara Swisher, the tech journalist who once described herself as the “liberal lesbian Donald Trump of San Francisco,” wants to buy the Washington Post from Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. The idea has the hallmarks of Silicon Valley delusion in the pre-Trump era when the tech industry was dominated by godless left-wing tyrants intent on “changing the world” with their benevolent lunacy. In 2012, for example, Mark Zuckerberg’s college roommate, Chris Hughes, who pioneered the Facebook “poke” button, bought the New Republic and proceeded to run it into the ground while setting untold millions on fire trying to get his annoying husband elected to Congress. Those were the days.

Axios co-founder Mike Allen reported the Swisher “scoop” in a manner suggesting people should take it seriously. (They should not.) The diminutive tech baroness is “trying to round up a group of rich people” to make a bid for the Post, even though Bezos has shown no interest in selling. “The Post can do better,” Swisher said. “It’s so maddening to see what’s happening. … Why not me? Why not any of us?” She thinks Bezos will ultimately want to sell the paper and wants to be ready to buy it up before Elon Musk can.

Allen summarized the tech lady’s psychotic vision as follows: “The storied paper would be run by a board of civic-minded people willing to write a big check to be part of something important. She’d be open to Bezos remaining a partial investor.” How incredibly gracious of Swisher, that she’d be willing to accept the billionaire’s money after taking control of his paper. It’s almost impressive, the confidence with which liberal elites insist there’s no problem that can’t be solved by putting a “board of civic-minded” MSNBC viewers in charge. They alone can fix it.

“Most techies now dabbling in the media are arrogant amateurs who think that because they excel in one area, they are masters of all domains,” Swisher said earlier this year. “What they really are is incompetent at giving any insight or illumination beyond their own narrow self-interests while decidedly cheapening discourse.” Swisher is totally different, obviously. She’s nothing like those idiots. She demonstrated remarkable insight with respect to the 2024 election. In addition to scolding the New York Times going easy on Trump and focusing too much on Joe Biden’s age, she argued the best way to defeat Trump would be to repeat the words “rapist, racist, fascist, over and over again.”

The Post lost $77 million last year. That’s nearly twice as much as the WNBA. Bezos has tried to turn things around by telling the paper’s employees to stop acting like entitled children—with mixed results. The thought of watching Swisher and her rich friends try to salvage the sinking husk of a paper by turning the #Resistance up to 11 is so amusing we almost hope she can pull this off, even though she definitely can’t.

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